Name Change!

Hello all my great fans. It's been a very long time. Do I have news for you! I changed my name! I am no longer Matt "The Needle" Dyck. My last name wasn't being taken very seriously here in hollywood. Have they never heard the name Dyck before? So, I decided to change my name after my protege Chad Michael Murray. Do you know where this is going? Yes I think you do! I changed my name to Matt Michael Murray! I think it will go over much more smoothly. You could also call me M cubed. I'm gonna work on that and try it out.

Chill.

Word.

M Cubed.

I am the father!!

See? I told you! One of those twins was mine!! I am the father of one of the twins. See? He looks just like me! I would not have chosen Knox as the name of my child, but oh well! I would have chosen Sir Alexander the Needle Dyck the 3rd. After my great great granddad of Cornwall of course. I will try to fight the name change in court though! I will wait until Knox is of age.. probably around 12 or 13 and then I will come into his life and change his name forever! You will never be rid of me you Jolie-Pitts! Never!!

Blogs of the World.... Unite!

Hello fellow earthlings!

It sure has been a while since I last made a post. Thanks for all you loyal readers who still check regularily to see what is happening in my fabulous life. You will not be forgotten on my Christmas card list!

Life has been in high gear ever since I have taken on the role as the next "Bachelor"! It is crazy! This season's title is called "The Bachelor: A Hollywood Scout and a Gentleman". The folks at ABC tell me it is going to be the most romantic Bachelor ever! I have fallen in love and we are getting married. Stay tuned for the posts to come for more of "The Bachelor".

Here are a few of the lovely ladies who are going to be throwing themselves at me this season on "The Bachelor: A Hollywood Scout and a Gentleman".

This is Deanna Pappas. She is back for the 3rd time. I guess things didn't work out with Jesse. I hope she finds love this time around!

This is the lovely Katherine Holmes Cruise. Yes she married good ol' Tom again, but really, how long can it last! Maybe she will be mine once again!

This is Samantha Ronson. A.K.A the lover of Linsday Lohan. She decided to give this show a chance so that she can get noticed by a Hollywood Scout. Isn't she a beauty? I love the hat.

I know you all know who this lovely gal is. It's Renny from "Big Brother 10"! She is the most vivacious woman I have ever met. I LOVE her voice. Especially when she is yelling that the door is locked. I love her wigs, her sunglasses and her dancing. It's mesmerizing.

That is just a taste of the lovely bachelorettes that will be gracing us this season. You will not be disapointed!!

Well my spectacular blog readers, it's time for me to go to my sound check and stare at my 25 pictures of the beautiful women! A bachelor's work is never done!

Breaking News

One of those babies in Angelina Jolie's stomach is mine! I know that sounds ridiculous, but it's true. And yes it can happen. You can have twins and have 2 different fathers. Just look at Sami on "Days of our Lives". She was pregnant with twins and one was Lucas' baby and the other was E.J's. It is mind boggeling I know, but just accept the fact that I am a father in this sensitive case. That is all for now...

Poetry

I know most of you think that I don't have a sensitive side, but that is not true. I am a real poetry kind of guy. You have no idea. I always get these little ideas in my head, and then I can't wait to get home and jot them down on some beautiful stationary that I designed. Here are a couple of poems that I posted on a Facebook group. I have got rave reviews and everyone keeps asking me when my next poetry reading will be. I haven't had a poetry reading, but I will soon! And trust me, it will be the event of the season! Here are my poems:

An Ode to Poetry
There once was a man from Nantucket
And he had a bright green bucket
He filled it up with clams
and then ate some ham
and said 'what a good boy am I!'

Earth
wind
grass
dirt
up from the ground you fly
swirling
whirling
up and up
until you find rest in mother nature's graveyard again

I saved this next poem for last because it is a gooder. Trust me, you will not be dissapointed.

Wipeless Wonder
Wipeless Wonder How I love Thee
You are great in the morning, noon, and night
Sometimes you are stubborn, but I don't mind
Because in the end, its worth the fight

I hope these poems make you want more!! There is more where this came from!

Spring is Officially here... thank goodness i have a hot bod

What's going down in the blogging world my homies??! It's been far too long. Lets have an update of my past 3 months of being away.....



I have been hitting up all the hottest clubs and doing all the latest trends. I feel like a young 20 something again... oh wait! I am one! I hope I never get old. I recently got some botox done to make me look years younger. I am 24 years old, but look like I'm 17. I get ID'd all the time wherever I go. And they just don't believe that I am 24. A cop pulled me over because he thought I was too young to drive. Hello! Racism! What's so wrong with looking young!



I started my own fashion line called 'MD Cool'. It's a fashion line inspired by me. (hence the MD stands for Matt Dyck... hello! thats me!) Its geared to 20 something guys right now, but I will soon piece some things together to form a young womans line. I'm hoping to team up with Beyonce on this. Her line of House of Deroun is just sky rocketing. I think her fame can really boost my sales. My style is like young urban hillbilly, meets pakistani and native american wear. It's pretty funky. I'll post some threads in a later post.



I also got married. Can you believe that? I married my long time love Katherine Holmes Cruise. Well, she is now Katherine Holmes "The Needle" Dyck. It has been a wonderful 3 months being married to her. She divorced Tom Cruise just moments before he was making her turn into a Scientologist. I've learned the error of my ways and hope to never be a scientologist again. It was a waste of money! I mean, I am a high roller and all, but I just can't justify spending $300,000 on membership fees. I would rather spend that on a nice relaxing weekend in Cabo. I of course adopted little Suri as well. She is Suri "The Needle" Dyck. And I am Matt "The Needle" Dyck. Together we are "The Needles". If we were a rap band, we would be called "The Needles 3". I should patent that name before anyone else steals it.



Hmm.. what else can I say about my fabulous life. I'm going to jump start the career of the major gay teen icon Danny Noriega. Read about his gay life here: http://www.americanidol.com/contestants/season7/danny_noriega/

I was really glad he was voted off on American Idol. I mean, who else can mold this guy into something more? Me!! He has the voice of an angel and I intend to bring him to stardom. He is a little diva though. The way he acts is like a woman trapped in a little 12 year old's body. I will take care of that and he will look like the next Ryan Seacrest!



I think thats all for now. I know its a short post, but you try putting all the fabulous details of my jet setting life into one little blog. It's a hard knock life!



Until next time,

See ya you douche bags

Check me out be-atches! I'm on a piece of bread! Beat that Rosie O'Donnell. I was eating breakfast one day at my villa in Rome and I fell asleep in my plate of french bread toast. I woke up and there was this imprint of my fine looking face in my bread! What a find! I will put this on ebay and make millions! Everyone wants a piece of me!