My car

Here it is folks. My car. My sweet sweet ride. This is my baby. My Maserati. I'm not sure of the year, or how many horsepower it is, but all I know is, I love it. I love expensive cars. This one was about $250,000. Chunk change. You never see these riding the streets of Calgary. No one there is as rich as me! Eat my dust!

What a great pic

This has got to be my most favorite picture in the world. It's with me of course, and Katie Holmes (I like to call her Katherine actually), so me and Katherine Holmes-Cruise. It was when she was pregnant. She was as big as a house! I mean we're talking huge. Like Rosie O'Donnell fat. Lesbo fat if you will. The picture really shows off my left profile. I think it gives me alot of versatility in hopes of becomming the first Hollywood Scout/Male Model. Anyone agree??!! Is that a yes??...Thank you!

A Bright Idea!

It has sure been a while since I last posted. I guess that is life in the fast lane! I mean, I have been so busy with new clients, and new projects. Recently I have become friends with all the celebrity couples that had babies. As I have mentioned in my last post, I was there for the adoption of Madonna's little black baby. I also was at the birth of little Suri Cruise. Everyone thought she was a phantom, but she is really real! I even have a lock of her hair that I snipped when TomKat was out of the room. I plan to use it for some DNA tests to make sure she really is their baby. I mean, wouldn't that be drastic if Suri wasn't theirs?

I also was talking to Oprah last week about her future plans. She came up with an amazing plan, to adopt all the black babies in Africa! This is what she says "If Madonna and Angelina can adopt black babies, so can I". I mean, doesn't it make more sense if Oprah adopts a black baby? She is black.

I also just got back from a rehabilitation center where Britney Spears is undergoing treatment. I love my job. It is just so rewarding. I love being in the life of the rich and famous. I feel I can really help people by just going there. I also asked Britney to shave my head. It felt so liberating to be bald. We also took some sticks and beat some parked cars. I loved it. Me and K-Fed also had a heart to heart about Britney's odd behaviour. He claimes she should grow her hair back, and then get some dreads. To be from 'da hood'. It's Britney S from the block.

Well my peasants, I need to get back to my life. I love being rich.